S.O.I.D.s  International  

Are You A SOID?

You are not alone!

Who We Are

Spouses Of Interior Designers ("soids") was organized to help meet the special needs of people who are married to Interior Designers. SOIDs was formed out of necessity when several of the founding members realized that they shared common challenges that could be traced to the occupations of their spouses.

News

SOIDs International Holiday Newsletter
In case you didn't receive your copy via email, here is a link to the SOIDs Holiday Newsletter.


SOIDs International provides helpful tips on movie viewing
Recently a very controversial movie was released in America, and movie-goers have been flocking to see it. We're speaking of course of "My Architect", the story of Louis Kahn. See the Q&A section below for information about our position regarding this film.


Meeting Attendees Agree to More Meetings
"I never realized how much I needed something like this" said one grateful SOID at a recent meeting. A call for more frequent SOIDs meetings was greeted with unanimous approval.


Oslo SOIDs Group Established!
Scandinavian design is known all over the world, but spouses of Scandinavian designers have had to suffer in silence until now. We are pleased to annouce the formation of a SOIDs group in Oslo, Norway! Thanks to Stein Erling, the executive member of the Oslo group.


We're Growing
Several new members were added at our second meeting. Welcome to new SOIDs members Joel, John, and Blake.


SOIDs Is Born!
A casual dinner party turned into a full-blown support group meeting, and SOIDs was born! Founding members were Tim, Mike, and Kevin.


SOIDs Q & A

Your problems are not unique, and it's likely that other soids have encountered similar situations to your own. It's important for us to "be there for each other" by sharing the benefit of our experience with the group. Check the list below for answers to previously asked question. If you don't find the answers you seek there, you can submit your question using the form below.
Aren't interior design and interior decorating the same thing? --Name Withheld
Even asking a question like that can be dangerous! Never, EVER make the mistake of confusing interior design with interior decorating, or divorce may not be far behind. Interior Design is the art and science of designing the interiors of buildings. The exact definition of Interior Decorating is vague, but we think it has something to do with pillows.


Why does my spouse refer to rooms as "spaces"? --Mystified in MN
Astrophysicists tell us that space is infinite, cold, and inhospitable to humans. The natural instinct of interior designers is to make rooms that are habitable and inviting to humans. Thus, interior designers believe that every room is a space until they have finished with it. See the next question for more information.


Is an Interior Designer ever finished with a room? --Still Mystified in MN
No.


What should I do when my spouse wants to talk about interior design? --Nervous
First, it is important to remain calm; Interior Designers can sense fear. Your spouse knows that you are not qualified to discuss these things. Therefore, attempts to engage you in a discussion about interior design are certainly a trick of some kind. Be on guard!


Why does my spouse refer to our curtains as "window treatments"? --Stumped in St Louis
Their use of the word "treatment" indicates the ongoing nature of the activity. Notice that they are not called window "cures" or window "solutions". Your curtains or blinds are just one installment in what will prove to be a long course of treatment for the problem known as "window"


How many Interior Designers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? --Riddled from RI
Very funny, but we soids recognize that this is a trick question! Interior Designers do not install lighting, they only specify it.


Can I rearrange the furniture when my spouse is not home, as long as I return everthing to its permanent (by this I of course mean temporarily permanent) place before (s)he returns? If I wake up and do this in the middle of the night every now and then, do I have a problem? --Risky business in CA
To answer your second question first: yes, you do have a problem. But it may not be the one you think you have. A compulsive desire to move furniture around may well indicate some sort of neurosis, or at the very least chronic weirdness. Frankly, we don't know. However, the desire to do so without letting your Interior Designer know about it is a well-known condition, sometimes referred to as a death wish. Basically, it is a desire to kill oneself, in this case by provoking an Interior Designer to wrath. We recommend that you consult a physician immediately.


I'm going to see the movie "My Architect" with my ID, what should I do? --Scared in SC
Obviously, this is a common problem at the moment for SOIDs all over the USA, and soon, the world. Do not bother trying to get out of seeing the movie. You will not succeed, except at the risk of your marriage itself. The best you can do is to try to be prepared.

We've found that an aggresive plan of action is the best course. While we usually recommend against talking to your ID about issues relating to interior design or its poorer cousin, architecture, there will be no avoiding it when you and your ID see this movie. Therefore we have prepared a few relevant facts that you can memorize now and safely use when discussing the film.

The Illegitmate Children
It is well known that Louis Kahn had several extramarital relationships, some of which resulted in children. What is perhaps less well-known, and is therefore more likely to impress your ID, is the fact that one of his love-children is the renowned soul singer Chaka Kahn, who credits her musical abilities to her father. Dropping this little gem during conversation about the movie will no doubt impress your ID.

The Little-known Buildings
The film features several of Kahn's most famous works, including the Salk Institute and the National Assembly Building in Bangladesh. You will impress your ID by explaining that it is less well known that Kahn also did the original designs for the White Castle restaurant buildings.

The Movie Title
Another interesting piece of trivia: "My Architect" was not the original title of the movie. Nathaniel Kahn originally wanted to call the film "The Wrath of Kahn", and was extremely disappointed to learn that the title had already been taken.

False rumours about Kahn
Of course, there are several common misconceptions about the man as well, and showing an awareness of these falsehoods can be just as impressive as a knowledge of the facts. For example, it is not true that Kahn invented that amazing piece of furniture known as the recliner. It was in fact, Frank Lloyd Wright, although he didn't refer to it as a recliner, but instead called it the "internal ottoman".


There is an urgent need for help at the Norwegian office. The living room has been overloaded with toys, clothes, iPods, mobiles and furniture since the arrival of a mother in law. The house's wife and M I L has in cooperation with 2 boys redecorated the boys' livingrooms with the consequence that the undersigned has problem to locate the flatscreen. A recent action has made the situation slightly better, but as the Olympics is proceeding to the main activities there is an urgent need for a place to put the cold beer.? PS: I actually had to buy a new car in order to overcome the psycological depression during these circumstances. --Norwegian Office of SOIDs International

Response 1:
Fellow pathetic SOID,

I'm thinking the real question here is not where to put the cold beer (it always goes in the 'crisper' drawer of the refrigerator, preferably the left-hand side so one can open with the left and lift with the right for proper ergonomics, plus, when in the drawer, the bottles don't clash with the food esthetics) but rather, how does one cope with the mother-in-law.

I concur that mass quantities of beer, a new chameleon blue metallic Volvo S40 turbo AWD, and excessive Olympic Games viewing on the flatscreen will lessen the stress, but nothing can really ease the incredible pain and suffering you are experiencing living with a designer and her mom under the same roof.

It just goes to show how important a support group such as ours truly can be. Remember the 3 'C's": we didn't Cause it, we can't Control it, and we sure as hell can't Cure it. Hang in there and take one day at a time.

Your fellow SOID,

Mikey

Response 2:
Dear Oppressed in Oslo,

We here at SOIDs HQ have been working on your problem.

While having a mother-in-law in the house is a problem that is not unique to SOIDs, it can be even more challenging for a SOID. Many of the rules we thought we'd understood about living with an Interior Designer seem to be suspended when the MIL comes into the picture. For example, most SOIDs learn through years of experience that we are not authorized to change the arrangement (not to mention selection!) of furniture in our own homes. And this doesn't just apply to furniture. In general, we are not allowed to put things "where they don't belong". When we try to challenge these basic rules, our spouses cite some mystical "Feng Shui" precepts that they know we can't possibly confirm. (Alas, our researchers have not yet been able to define what Interior Designers mean by "Feng Shui"). But for the sake of our marriages, we've all learned to coexist with these apparently random rules. It is then no wonder that a SOID can become confused when a MIL comes to visit, and these rules --which we thought were immutable-- are bent or even suspended completely!

This problem is an area of ongoing research here at SOIDs HQ, and although we don't have a definitive answer to the general MIL problem, our researchers have been able to come up with what we think is a good solution to your particular problem.

We recommend the following solution: SOIDs Survival Kit item number 17

Good luck!





Submit a Question

OK, so it's not exactly a hotline, but you can use the form below to get help and advice from your fellow SOIDs. Then, check back with us in a few days for a sympathetic answer.

SOIDs Question Submission Form Question:

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Resources

The first step is to admit you have a problem! Other SOIDs know what you are going through, and have compiled this list of resources to help you cope with the special challenges you face every day.